A Little Bit About Connie
I’m a second-generation Korean American, raised by monolingual immigrant parents. From navigating cultural and language barriers, code switching, to not quite feeling American or Korean, I know what it’s like to not feel a strong sense of belonging. My parents—out of fear, trauma, and shame—isolated themselves from everyone, including our relatives. I didn’t grow up with a strong sense of community and belonging, and my parents discouraged me to make and sustain friendships while growing up. In short, we were all very lonely, disconnected, and unseen–even, and especially, with each other.
In 2018, I finally got a taste of what it’s like to be seen and heard. As cliché as it sounds, I met a therapist who changed my life. He was the kindest, gentlest guy who truly validated a lot of the pain and trauma I suffered from my whole life. He made me feel a lot less alone in my suffering with his presence, his validating facial expressions, and sometimes, his surprisingly firm tone when he advocated for me. In those moments, it became clearer that I so wanted to be that witness and advocate for others.
I want you to feel seen, heard, and connected. For all the times that you’ve been invalidated, dismissed, minimized, alone, and disconnected, I’ll be here to tell you that you matter. Because I truly believe that.
I believe the right connection is the antidote to a grieving, pained, broken heart: whether you have had unresolved relationship wounds from your family members, you’re grieving a loved one who you had a complicated relationship with, or you’re really struggling to find a sense of belonging and connection. Whatever the case may be, I look forward to us working together and imprinting each others’ lives.
My Educational Background
- Bachelor of Science in Joint Mathematics and Economics at University of California, San Diego (UCSD).
- Master of Arts in Clinical Psychology with a specialization in Applied Community Psychology at Antioch University Los Angeles
- Gestalt Associates Training of Los Angeles (GATLA) Weekend Program 2022-2025
- Brainspotting: Phases 1 and 2
What it looks like to work with me & my philosophy + approach
I’ve been told by clients that I am direct, compassionate, playful, and real. I prioritize our relationship and use it as a tool not only for healing, but also to gain insight and self-awareness. I believe productive, meaningful, and long lasting results from therapy require both the client and therapist to show up as their true, authentic selves, even if it’s not the most pleasant thing to do or be in. While I don’t share everything about myself, I also don’t hide who I am and have no interest in doing so. This philosophy or framework that I use is what people call a relational therapist.
When I call myself a relational therapist, what I mean is the following (which is not complete, extensive list of questions or ideas):
I focus on dynamics between two people, whether that is in individual therapy where it is you and I, or in dyads (two people coming together to see me for therapy). What is our relationship like? How do we communicate with one another? What continues/does not continue to be said or implied to one another? How does each person interpret what the other person says, or who the other person is especially in times of conflict and hurt? What happens between us in the present moment? Does more pain get created? Or does each person feel they are understood or seen for who they truly are?
The value I see in a present and process-oriented therapy approach:
It’s easy to escape to the past or future. We can talk about our past and conceptualize what and why it happened, and we can talk about what we anticipate for our future. But there’s nothing quite like the present moment where it captures both the past and future. We can talk about all of our problems all we want, but to work through them, we must be able to process what happens in the present moment. I see the present moment as something we cannot escape from, which is something so fruitful and often under utilized in therapy. The present moment can show, rather than tell, the ongoing issues and patterns that you might be struggling with. Working with the present moment might look something like me asking you, “What’s happening for you as you tell me this story? What sensations in your body are you experiencing right now?” You might even be invited to do some weird (but not inappropriate, of course) experiments with me, and it might feel a little outside of your comfort zone. But I promise I’m not suggesting weird things for us to do just to be weird—these experiments only help us be more present with well, the present. The present informs us the most while it is also so fleeting. It’s the only time where we are able to be pulled between two worlds at the same time – past and future.
This type of relational therapy is Gestalt therapy. I have been formally trained in Gestalt therapy for at least three years and it is the main approach I use with my clients. Other types of therapy I incorporate in our work are Existential therapy, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), and Brainspotting.